Thursday, August 25, 2011

Nature's Candy, by T.D.

We here at Nature's Candy believe in wholesome food for kidz. But we also know that kidz like junk food. So that's why we make snacks that kidz love, in the shapes and colors of healthy food in order to fool their parents and other concerned adults.

Hungry on the go? Grab a handful of Carrot-Crunchumz! 100% real fucking candy corn in every bite. In the shape of carrots.

That's our only product so far. If you have any more ideas* please send them to:

666 Hellhound Lane
Suite 13A
New York, NY

*Other ideas previously sent in and subsequently rejected by Nature's Candy include human shit in candy bar form, a candy bar in human shit form, a "banana" made of butter,  Mike's Hard Lemonade, candy cigarettes that are actually real cigarettes, and vodka sold in water bottles, which sounds like a great idea except PLASTIC BOTTLES ARE BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT, PEOPLE.

- The Devil