Sunday, April 08, 2012

A Poem of Epic Length, by Chucky P. Bunson Berry

Fellow classmates! It's been a wonderful semester. Learned a lot. Hope to see you all again in the fall. I promise I won't set off the fire sprinklers again.

Congratulations! You just lost the lottery again.

Dear professor,
My dog ate my homework last night. His name is Gerald D. Dog and he's half chocolate lab, half golden retriever. We think he might have some Geman shepherd in him as well. As I understand it, you are a dog enthusiast . According to my  class notes from November 12th, you said, "I have two dogs at home."
In conclusion, as one dog owner to another, have a beautiful day.

P.S. hopefully we can get together some time and chat over those sandwiches I've been thinking about.


Aliens invaded my home last night. They stole my bike. Thankfully they left my beanie baby collection alone. Thought they did probe me.

When Jesus of Nazareth ventured into the streets to preach the Gospel, he was most likely fired from his carpentry job. Later on they probably offered him his old job back but he had bigger fish to fry. (Mathew: 49)

Welcome to the Great Riverboat ladies and gentlemen! Grab a cigar, get some gambling chips by the bar and have a drink on the house. Uh oh! We're sinking!

Do peanuts feel pain? Probably so if they've been de-shelled. How else will they learn their lesson?

To the little fly, I'm sure a single ice cream sprinkle would be plenty. But not for me. More sprinkles please!

A book is a terrible thing to read.

All Gods Go To Heaven.

Beware of God.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And so is tomorrow. And the day after, and the day after that. Ah well, same ol' same ol'.

Butter makes everything better. Especially bare butt banister sliding.

I believe snails are God's way of saying, "Follow the slime"

I can't believe it's not I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Turns out it's butter after all.

My iphone doubles as my cat's ipad.

They say there's mountains in these parts.

Baby flies are called maggots, so how come baby butterflies are called caterpillars? What's wrong with calling them "buttermaggots"?

Why was 9 left sexually unsatisfied? Because 7 ate 9 and 6 came before all of them.

Cradle of Filth is a pretty snazzy band name, I'll give you that.

A ten gallon hat must way a ton! No? Well it looks pretty heavy, let's just leave it at that.

Turtle ass.
Friends with Bennefers starring Ben, Jen, and Dupree.
Remember the alimony.
Burgers are forever.
Plenty of those where I come from! (Banana goblin bat-people)
You're tree house is infested with Keeblers. Better call the Terminator.

My credit card doubles as my pet rat's lunch tray.

-Chucky P. Bunson Berry