Monday, October 31, 2011

20 questions, by Chucky Berry


I'm 20 feet tall, my head looks like broccoli and chipmunks live in my holes. What am I?
A tree!

I'm a jack-o-lantern's best friend, I wear suspenders, I carry candy corn at all times. What am I?
Giblette The Pumpkin King!

I own 5 computers. I learned Siamese from an authentic Siamese cat-man. My smartphone is made of 100% recycled toilet paper. I'm the proud owner of not 4, but 5 computers. What am I?
Luther Le'Computer

One time I jumped so high a bird flew into my mouth. What am I?
tlamp-o-mlean aulgh go boinga boinga hoy up in da sky

I knew Forrest Gump personally. I'm famous. Who am I?
Forrest Gumper

I'm Chucky Berry and this has been 20 Questions.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Cat Burglary


The precious gem chunklett of Marie L'escargot  was sitting there in the jewel museum like a sitting duck, waiting  for pluckings. Cat burglary is my forte. And I ain't talking about burgers.
I'm talking about Jewel heists.

The plan was audacious and hopeful.

Once I'd have the chucklett in my hands I'd be rich beyond my wildest dreams. I could finally buy a table saw. And once I have a table saw, I can make handmade crafts and sell them at flea markets for hundreds of dollars, thereby making me a millionaire.

I could practically taste the money in my mouth. And I ain't talking about burgers.

So then what is a cat burgler? He who stealthily steals gems and jewels and golden treasures under the cloak of night. Dressed like his favorite cat. Mine's Garfield. Who's yours? If you say Heathcliff you really shouldn't. No one should.

So there I was on the roof of the museum, cutting a hole in the skylight with my laser knife when all of a sudden a flood light shone from above. Copper chopper!

"FREEZE! WITH YOUR HANDS UP! LET US SEE YOUR HANDS! LETTUCE CHEESE YOUR HAMS. AND WE AIN'T TALKIN' BOUT BURGERS!"

To be continued...