Two Ways to Use Italics

Part of me likes to relax pool side, sipping on a frozen daiquiri, listening to mellow Caribbean music and taking in the hot sun. The other part of me swallowed my bathing cap so maybe I should just go to the hospital? Can you drive me? Hopefully we can get back in time before they close the pool.  (Wouldn't count on it. Today is all about the bathing cap incident.)

And that's how you ruin a vacation.

Hands up, ya varmints! This here is a stickup. I'm Cowboy Slim and that there's my partner Jim Crook. We're robbing this here saloon and there ain't no sheriff in the country of Texas gonna stop us. So put your valuables... OUCH! I just shot my own dick off. OK listen up everybody, there's been a change of plans on account of me shooting my own dick off.  Jim Crook's gonna collect them valuables from you. Talkin' gold coins, gold nuggets, sterling silver, precious stones, gems such as rubies and emeralds, Indian turquoise, and whatever currency you're carrying. 

Meanwhile I'm gonna take a quick trip to the doctor on account of my shooting my own dick off.

Can't believe I just robbed a saloon and shot my own dick off.