Saturday, February 26, 2011

What They Say

They say an elephant is the smartest animal. And humans are the second smartest. Then comes turtles. Then comes puppies. Kindergartners say this, but don't believe them.


Monday, February 21, 2011

How 2 Party

If you can't have your cake and eat it too, then take somebody else's cake.

Then everybody will point to you and say, "That guy? Oh he takes the cake!"

And if there are any newcomers to the party then they will be impressed and see you as their Party Chieftain.

If the neighbors are being bitches and the police show up, just act like you're their commander and tell them there's work to be done downtown, boys. The Masked Marauder is at it again and this time he's got a car.

They'll probably listen to you and get moving.

Now it's time to get wild: DRINGING GAMES!

Game rules:
Think of a number between one and ten. Now tell everyone to guess what number you're thinking of. Now you guess who you think got the closest, and go pour beer all over their head.

later on at the height of the party, when everyone is having a great time, walk out the door and never speak to those people ever again. Chances are you won't have to, unless you work at the high school they attend.

And that's how 2 party.

- Chucky P. Bunson Berry

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

This just in from Egypt...

Don't Tell Mom The Baby Sitter Farted, starring Lisa Kudrow and Ed McMahon, VS. Lionel Richie.

This just in from the Egypt: King Tut farted.

Welcome home, son. While you were away we decided to turn your room into a TV room. The TV now lives where you once lived. Don't go in there now, he's sleeping. We're going to order in pizza for dinner. TV likes mushrooms. Do you like mushrooms?

My authoritarian friend told me to do it.

Kiss the wind upon a horse who swims through cloud puffs. Now eat shit.

Go on. It won't hurt you. (hehe hehe he he he hehehe I'm the devil.)

 Spank your banker till she gives all the moneys!

You want my professional advice? OK here it is: I don't give a shit.
- That's not advice.

I am your long lost pen pal. My name is Pen Pal.

Yo man, is it cool if I bring my Pay Pal to the party? His name is Josh.

Chucky Berry is the CEO of PipiLeaks.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Album Review: The Wall

The Wall is an album by Pink Floyd, circa 1979. It is about:
1) Alienation from society
2) Fascism
3) The individual as tragic figure, victim of oppression, repression, and societal tyranny.

Chillllllllllllllllll my homesie. Every building here is built A.D.18XX Lincoln Continental demanded RESPEK because he had those high cherokeecheek bones just like JE$UZ, BABY.

Now where was I? Ah yes, Pink Floyd: The Wall: The Album Review.

Killer bass on that cut, maaaan. Roger Waters really came into his own by that point. But my favorite part of the album is the skit on disc 3 with Ghost Face Killah, yo! MTV raps. $hit is pure Frodo, son.

                                         Pure Frodo.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Kicked Off My High Horse

Have you ever been kicked off your high horse? I have.

Do you know how?

If you have any information leading to the arrest of the person who kicked me off my high horse you are to report immediately to the nearest post office and tell them you want to write a letter to the Chief of Police. If you are met with any obstacle it is your constitutional right, nay, DUTY to perform a citizens arrest on anyone in your way. Be it man, mammal, or inanimate object.

Now where was I? Oh yes: I bet you don't even know what a "high horse" even is. Well, Mr. Literal, it's not just a really tall horse. The proverbial "high horse" is in fact a metaphor. It means "Stupid" or "ugly", or the opposite of that. Pretty sure.

Well then. What's it gong to be? Gonna spill the beans right now nice and easy or are me and my partner here going to have to spill your beans for you? Prod you so hard all night long that you're gonna spill all your beans everywhere, my partner and I will.

We have video surveillance of you kicking me off of my high horse during yesterday's breakfast.

Is there something you want to say?

- Chucky Berry

Chucky P. Berry is a part time crime solver and writer for