Part of me really wants a big two story house on a tree lined block in the suburbs, with a trophy wife and kids, and a couple expensive race cars in the garage. The other part of me will eat barbecue sauce packets for dinner.
Part of me wants to be the life of the party, dress real slick like the guys in GQ magazine, and impress everyone with a careful mix of dry whit and unpretentious confidence. The other part of me wants to crawl out of a toilet, like a little extra terrestrial shit-man. "T.P. phone home! T.P. phone home!" and then I roll around the floor spitting at people.
I use to have regrets, but I soon came to realize that regrets are for losers. You should never regret anything in life. I really wish I didn't regret stuff when I was younger. Man, how could I be so stupid?