Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Forrest Gump for President.

The Danish King was said to have ruled with a sword in one hand, and a Danish in the other.

America runs on Duncan.

When the Queen dies her son will become Queen. And he shall rule England from the top part to the lower bit, "And Ev'rything in betwixed!"

Contrary to popular belief, Class President is not a popularity contest. It's a real life position in government. And as Class President and Commander in Chief of this High School, I'm committing 20,000 of our troops to be deployed to Mars as of 2pm today. I'll be taking questions now...

In order of Greatness to Leastness:
God > The Pope > Archbishop > Archibald > Archie > Jughead > Primate > Mate > Mat > Rat > Dung Beetle > Genius Centipede > A rather dull Centipede > Portobello Mushroom > A piece of wood or a fucking rock > Bacteria > Primordial one celled blob > Licorice Jelly Bean

Your Holiness the Pope, I have some unfortunate news from the archdiocese in Mars. They ran out of wafers. Should I... Send some more?

Contrary to popular belief, the peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. WRONG. It is both those things. Now get me a Lemon Spritzer before I set fire to this plastic bag and make it smell so horrible in here!
The Pope thinks we built a Catholic Church on Mars. Just go with it, OK?

I want you to know that we're considering you for the position. It's between you and one other. The other candidate we're considering is a Treasure Troll Doll. He appeared at my secretary's desk during the holidays. He has no experience in the field, and zero education. But on the other hand, You're a gingerbread man.

My apologies. I thought you were a gingerbread man.

- Chucky Berry

Chucky Berry is a professional part time political analyst for chuckyberryblog.blogspot.com