1. Ghouls are killing people at an alarming rate and we have to put a stop to it. And THAT means EDUCATION, which brings me to number 2:
2. We need to educate ghouls about the laws of living people. Which is why I've been running 12 information booths across local graveyards with the help of some junior high school volunteers.
3. Codey Dooler is NOT allowed back for volunteer duty because gummy bears are PROHIBITED in the graveyard. If you see him, report him. He is a 13 year old, red haired, MORON.
4. bright colored candy upsets the goblins for religious reasons.
5. A good defense when approached by an angry ghoul is to turn your back to him, crouch like a chimp, and pretend to eat chicken nuggets. He'll get curious and try to find your "secret". As he approaches, throw the secret nuggets into the bushes and run in an easterly direction. Hopefully the sun will be rising.
- Tim Bucket