Friday, April 17, 2009

Let's Be Reasonable Here. By Tim Bucket.

I don't know how Chucky's ex-wife got on the blog but I'm sure I can speak for everyone by saying, "No one here gives a flying shit about your kids, their dumb poems, your aspirations,  or any other non-paranormal activities you waste your time on." Sorry Dorothea I know that sounds harsh, but while Chuck is gone, I am king goblin of Chucky Berry Blog.

Reasons why he made ME and not YOU second in command:

1. I directed a highly acclaimed straight-to-youtube documentary, Ghost Yard Bloopers (2006).  Have you ever caught a ghost on film? yeah maybe. But have you ever shot one getting hit in the groin by a wayward fireball? Sure you have. Sure. (I doubt it.)
2. I trapped a werewolf once using nothing but a plastic grilled cheese toy and a high powered laser alarm system. It was a three quarters moon that night so he was not fully transmutated.  But ah! His beard was brown and thick like a wolf's. And his voice low and gruff like the wolf's. And his wind breaker was tucked into his pants like a wolf's tail between its legs. Just like the wolf's. I assure you this man was a werewolf.
3. Chuck and me are first cousins and you and chuck are second cousins. As we use to say back on the farm, "first is the best, second is the worst, third is the worst!"

Your kid's poems STINK. Chucky agrees, he's just too pussy whooped to admit it.
Sorry Chuck,
Tim Bucket