Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Interview with author Jeff Steinman

Chucky Berry:
I'm sitting here with Jeff Steinman, author of Why Does God Hate Me? And Other Rhetorical Questions. 
Jeff, I like the book very much. What was the impetuous to write it?

Jeff Steinman:
Well, the night I was done writing my last book, The Authorized Biography of Sonic the Hedgehog, I drank a glass of red wine, slipped into my hot tub with a cigar, and said "Right. Now get back to work, you lazy piece of filthy shit." And then I farted but you wouldn't have noticed if you were there because the hot tub has its own bubbles. So the secret stays with me. 

So you go from one book right to another then?

I told you, I farted. So no. It took me 3 days to fart because I've been holding it in for 3 years.

...And why's that?

I was afraid of exploding. Look, when you're a creative powerhouse such as a Bob Dylan, or a Jeff Steinman, you don't always think rationally. You're a slave to the muse, and sometimes the muse kisses your tits, and sometimes she makes you kiss her's.

You mentioned Bob Dylan. Who are the artists that have influenced you?

More than anyone I'd have to say me: Jeff Steinman. I've showed myself all kinds of things. Just last night I showed me how to cut a potato. The trick is to use a small axe or knife, or scissors might work. I never cared for Bob Dylan. But it's interesting, you know who I like? Believe it or not? Shakespeare. He was on to something. Very "British". And I'm an Anglophile so it all makes sense. 

Will there be an Authorized Biography of Sonic the Hedgehog 2. A sequel? 

No. I'm not going to tarnish my legacy like that. 

Where do you see the future of print media?

Everything you read will be on a computer screen. And you'll be able to download entire books on to personal reading devices. 

What you're describing sounds a lot like the present day.

Exactly. Some thing never change. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for my bubble bath.

Well thanks for talking to me today.

Don't mention it. Seriously don't mention it.

...Mention what?

What? Oh nothing, just reminding myself of something.

Very well. Thanks for the interview, Jeff.

Yeah...Don't mention it.

I won't.