Monday, September 27, 2010

The Legend of O'bama, by Chucky Berry

O'bama is Black Irish. He was born in the Jewish ghetto of Belfast, Northern Ireland, and emigrated to Hells Kitchen USA when he was 16, along with his mother Angela and his three older siblings, Malcolm, Jamal, and Warner.

When O'bama was 17 he emancipated himself from mental slavery and attended Wesleyan University in ToWniEViLle Ohio. There he majored in Intro to Socialist Behavior, and did his senior thesis on Stalin, Lennon, and the Marx Brothers.

It was on a feild trip to Chicago where O'bama met his mentor and spiritual leader, The Honorable Elijah Mahoney. "The chickens are coming home to roost!" Cried Mr. Mahoney, who operated an organic free-range farm outside his home in Detroit. Indeed they did. Later that week: Omelets.

It was here in Detroit where O'bama started his political career as an ice cream social organizer. Driving around town, he learned the crucial skills that would kick start his political career such as driving, smiling while speaking, and ice cream making.

Somewhere around 2004? O'bama ran for El Presidente De United States aka Commando in Chief. But first he had to beat Hilary Clitman in the primaries! Well that was easy enough.
But in order to win the Whitehouse, O'bama had to first destroy his arch nemesis, Minotaur John McClain. The mischievous elder statesman enlisted non other than Cindy Palin, the Alaskan Goddess of Fertility. One night O'bama, with the help of his secretary Ari Gold (from HBO's Entourage) invited Miss Palin over for a "political debate". By all accounts they had sex on the kitchen table and O'bama "fucked her stupid" according to Mr. Gold.

In his first term as Top Chef of the Union, Mr. O'bama declared war on the South. In retaliation, Fox News, owned by conservative Australian actor Mel Gibson, contracted a privately owned army of mercenaries called Black Rock Entertainment. This fighting force, mostly consisting of outsourced personnel from India, hacked the Internet and systematically deleted all of O'bama's friends.

To complicate matters, a group of Caucasians formed a new political party called The Tea Party. It's objectives were never clearly stated but the writing was on the wall: No Irish need apply.

Will O'bama prevail? Will the Catholics and Protestants finally stop their sectarian shenanigans for the love of their country for Christ's sake?

"Top of the Mornin' to ya!" Brack O'bama says.

To be Continued indeed...

Chucky Berry is a professional part time political reporter for