Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Return From Oblivion, by Tim Bucket

If you ever find yourself in an old dusty ghost town along side the Apache trail, here's some advice: The Ghouls are watching you. So be sure to wear you're finest. See, Chuck, I've been doing some traveling across this great wide Indian burial ground we call The States. And I've seen some things that would make the hair on the back of your neck grow into a ponytail. Here's what I'm getting at: I took peyote. Alot of it. That's why I haven't been able to blog for the past 3 months, man! Now, for you're EDUCATIONAL enjoyment, I kept a highly extensive detailed journal throughoutthese travels through both time and space. Here it is...

1. Day one. I've just ingested the shaman's elixir, packs quite a punch! No hallucinations or paranormal side effects to speak of. It's kind of a mellow thing really.
2. The incredible hulk just stopped by to say hello.
4. Day six. I just slept for six days. I feel great. Well, not GREAT, but pretty good you know?
5. If you are reading this it means I've already been abducted by Zorlord's henchmen. Planet Zero. The code is PoPCoRN. Do not screw this one up, Chuck. YOU NEED ME AS MUCH AS I NEED YOU.
6. Time has melted unto itself, much like this candle I'm holding, melting on to myself.
7. Day 14, my head feels like a goblin's reproductive sack. Which is to say it is THROBBING. Also much like the goblin's privates it has dread locks. HOW DID I GET DREADLOCKS!?

The rest of the journal was unfortunately eaten by myself in dog form. Though the rest didn't make much sense anyway.

Long live Shandilon the Elder and his Married Men,

- Tim Bucket