Monday, November 19, 2012

You Don't See Me Complaining

An old Chinese guy in prison just can't win. If he says "thank you" it sounds like "shank you." And that's a big no-no in the slammer. 

At one time Tyrannosaurus Rex was the most feared, ferocious killing machine of all the dinosaurs. This was in the mid to late 80's. Then Jurassic Park came out and everybody got all excited about "Raptors" because of that one scene. You know the one. 

One summer I decided to work on a science project for the following school year. My thesis: What if Jurassic park really existed? To carry out my experiment I went and bought a turtle, a frog, two lizards, and placed them all on a little island in the middle of a pond not too far from my home.  They all swam away and I failed my science class that semester. 

Christmas use to be about family, giving, and spreading holiday cheer. Now it's all about hurting the bad guys with crazier and crazier traps and follies, and running around New York City without parental supervision. Wait, I'm thinking of Home Alone 2. 

I wish Donnie Brosco kept up his mafia guy act just a little longer. That way Al Pacino would really freak when he finds out the truth: Donnie is an FBI agent. Your whole world just crumpled, my friend. Fahgettaboutit. That's what I'd say if I were in the scene with them. Then Pacino would really blow his top. 

Ice cream gives me a headache, a stomach ache, and a toothache. But you don't see ME complaining!

- Chucky Berry

Chucky P. Bunson Berry is a part time lyricist for Dock Worker's Limerick Monthly